the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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