If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
