I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
