fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
