when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
