Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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