I will die if light touches me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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