Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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