Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
