She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
