I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize