There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
