so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
