so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
