You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
