Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
