Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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