well most of my day revolves around power hour
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize