I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
