If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
