She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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