Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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