Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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