There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize