I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
