I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
