so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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