Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
false alarm, still single
Randomize
