Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
