So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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