The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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