Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
