jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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