u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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