I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize