I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
