you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
