i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Randomize
