I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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