Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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