Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize