Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you made out with another girl for some wings
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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