Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize