Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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