like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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