yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
