I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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