I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
