Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
