pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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