my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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