I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
