Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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