peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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