Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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