my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
